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Foster was my mind
pondered is a life that is,
my wise thoughts have grown
through pain, suffering, and miseries

when midnight comes
I grab my thoughts
and build a maze
out of unfortunate events

I question my existence
I disdain my worth
I despise my effort
I dislike my oath

and after thinking
I sleep deeply 
in deep, dark pivoted
hole of unending agony

and somehow I hope
for something and someone
that I had wished somehow 
to undo things and made all be forgotten

but this feeling prevails
to come back and try once more
to hope that in great somewhere 
to be loved is not a privilege anymore

I still hope for someone
for something—somewhere
that I kneel to God that somehow
I would be loved the same

I lie to say that I
heed the pride I had
that I choose to let things go
and regret the things that had passed

but the truth is that I never
once feel a single resentment 
that I have loved and cared
spent time in seems unending amusement

you are the first
that I wish was the last
but if fate does dictate us
I can't hold long enough the fuss 

that between love and freedom
we're bounded by fear and sadness
that we choose to keep our mouths shut
rather saying things the longest time had been contained 

and so I wish to hear your words
even how uncomfortable might be is
than to hope in what seems to be
an eternal cycle of nightmares and dreams

I have chosen to be tough
and keep me out of the box
how I pray that you could settle things
even if it needed something to be sacrificed