I speak as I am without filters and such. I speak to be freed and be understood, and all about. I speak as much as I could for my inner being must be not strained. I speak, as now I’ve learned it does not matter when no one would listen. because you speak and you burst your soul.

before, I seek for ears to be lent unto me. I look for eyes to least catch me breathing. I roam my feelings to find mutual thoughts. Whilst I seek something I thought would be benign, the gap widens as people don’t want to be attached. they belong to each of their pairs. they were tired of the strings they choose to be made. and they have closed the gates for those who seek refuge from those unknown and unheard.

I am fond of many things and so in pain, I grew up. I learned to cope with the exclusion brought by my status and my prevailing ability to be still amidst depressing times. It has become normal to be an outcast even in a world you must rule.

but time allows pondering things that have been ignored. and so I stood before you people’s existence.

I speak for it was enough to be invalidated. it was enough for me to say that I’m fine even if I am not. I open my mouth to speak about these feelings I’ve never told to anyone before.

I speak for my sadness, for my grievances, for the pain I was in debt. I stand before my loneliness, my unworthy earthly existence. and yes, I am sad, I am lonely, and angry. I am mad and I’m in vengeance to seek what is definitely for me. I am tired of how I was treated all this fucking time. And now, that I learned that I deserved to be loved, it is enough for me to take more damn as if I give extensive fuck to someone else.

I never loved the sun, as it stares at my troubled soul. I never loved the rain as it brings me into inevitably withered feelings. I never loved the moon as what it could only do is to make me sad. I never loved them as much as I do now. Yet I never loved myself with no assurance of when it could end.

Yet this time that I stand with my firm intimidating existence, I am done with being caring as far as I’m concerned I could not get it as much as I give it. It is the time to get things lost if they wanted them to be rather than keeping those knots bonded even if they keep losing their grip over time—and your ignorant palm bleeds as you grasp a slipping rope rather than let it be.

and as far as I am concerned lesser than I could be now—even it does look like I’m setting myself to become too relevant—it is what is, people.IIi deserve enough.